i don't think that i have ever written a post on my birthday. usually there's a stream of pre-birthday reflection and a kind of after the day report. but today, i am so overwhelmed by the celebration of me that i feel like writing right now. i don't know what exactly i wish to write. yes. words fail me. but details matter and so i will begin my little exploration of this birth anniversary. i just had dinner with my parents tonight. it was a wonderful moment frozen in time in which to discuss and share the reason for their aging: their eldest daughter just got one year older, of course! i am eternally grateful for moments like these. i want to feel and embrace the joy that rushes through me; most of all... i want to make conscious choices to choose the joy when fear threatens to rule me.
i know. these are starting to sound like a bunch of resolutions. but they're really purposeful stratagems for days well lived... just a wee bit ahead of time ;)
i don't want to write about the day i was born, as such. i think i'll save that for my grandkids to hear about. you know, sitting around a fire someplace, not reading off grandma's dusty old blog. some things should be kept that way: old and tangible. i think i'm getting that way too. or tending towards it. not old, just tangible :P
beyond that i am thrilled to be surrounded by all this love and light. my day is full, and i am content.
Shafinaaz is a sociologist, artist and poet based in Johannesburg, SA. She is the author of several works of non-fiction and fiction, and has been listed in HayFestival's Africa39 category of top 39 authors in Africa under the age of 40 at the London Book Fair 2014. Also see www.shafinaaz.co.za
I write. As I must. Words are my paints of expression on an otherwise bland canvas, my rollercoasters of delight on otherwise dreary roads. Entertainment or derision, they manifest in my varied states of being. Until theres silence. Even then, theres a dialogue of sorts that continues... in spirit? Who knows..