Thursday, October 09, 2008

...and love is the tool of healing...

Self-doubt is probably one of the most disasterous of man-made devices ever built. I imagine that it was first designed on some malfunctioning unit of human being, ready only to self-destruct or render itself to smithereens due to not liking the game being played. And so, the psyche beleagured, wrought the addition of a grand mutation in this form. Human beings were designed for love and Love. In no particular order. Love Creator and love creation. Simple as that. So then why oh why do we complicate matters so? Self-doubt questions worth. Diminished self-worth questions being. And purpose. We fail to see the divinity inherent in being part of that great thread of soul energy. Because thats all that we are. Energy. We are refueled by compassion, appreciation, and love. We are drained by self-doubt. Fear, pain, resentment, anger. All are children of self-doubt. Why do I keep harping on about this one icky little word? Its because by implication, doubting self causes a pain that is self-inflicted. And pain translates into anger. Self-processed. So theres no room for victimhood here. We're able to make the conscious choice. A proactiveness is required in being able to undo the self-flaggelation tactics. To get a grip, and see the harm that we wreak on self and surrounds. Crimson Shimmer's new poem says it well... Fear is the weapon of self-destruction... and it follows then, that Love is the tool of Healing...

I write these posts in reflection. And they are free-written with little thought of grammatical error or structure. I write as I feel. Or maybe these words are messages that my subconscious wants to reveal to me as lessons to self. I am not free of qualms and quirkinesses. I am, a work in progress. I just hope that I am learning from my own mistakes, that I am forgiven my many mistakes by those who I may have wronged... and I hope that I am able to discard the regrets and not hold resentment in the tiny space of my heart. If it must expand, then let that be with compassion. I have so much yet to learn. And there's so little time.

6 comments:

Crimson Shimmer said...

I love how you've taken what I said in darkness and thrown it into light :)

also the 'love creator love creation' - masterful stuff`

ty` for lighting this candle...

Zahera said...

Lovely post! :-) Made me smile and i agree with crimson- take from darkness into light is a gift in itself. You have a gift Kimyi; you are a tool of healing yourself! :-D *sprinkles sufi love dust on you and floats away*

KimyaShafinaaz said...

@ luq - thanks u. i always maintain, inspiration is a thread between souls.. so i can only produce in tandem with what i read/receive from the ppl around me.. lucky me! ;)

@ zahera - hmm... i love what progesterone does to pregnant women! mwah! lol... thanks for the kind, sweeeet words... ur the Cutest Lady on the Blogosphere. Even without the happy hormone :P

qk said...

nicely written :) though i often wonder whether self-doubt isn't a necessary quality of being human... or maybe it is just a destructive kind of humility?

KimyaShafinaaz said...

hey qk, interesting reflection that... :)

Nooj said...

i agree somewhat with qk
self doubt, as painful as it is, has created much more learning than contentment ever will. it is beautiful to return back to a place of Love though