Thursday, February 05, 2009

an invitation to do things differently

I am not so sure that there is a space for elation and sadness to sit side by side and enjoy each others company. But then the law's of everything known to me have defied me many times before... so why would this time be any different, right? I'm not averse to the idea that I may be a walking realm of contradictions; my life tends to present all the data I need to confirm that, in fact. And its most easily explained as the compulsive artists greatest truth: a strength and a weakness, in and of itself a paradox. But it helps to also sit back and appreciate the little details of an almost normal existence; petty it may seem, but thorough and grounded in its own way.

I am still deciding, but the way I see it... Certainty might be a judgment of the mind; riddled as it chooses to be... or an easy battleground upon which the demons of past and present might play their sordid game. But even in my not-so-sureness state of semi-denial, I can tell that the space exists- delight and melancholy sit on a swing, holding hands and pretending not to giggle at my confused expression. Is it possible, I wonder... or an illusion of sorts... to be part of the creation of something beautiful and then murder it in cold blood, with those same warm hands?

What bare hands can slash an inspired canvas... when the invitation is to celebrate all the love and enthusiasm that life has to offer... Makes you think, doesn't it?

5 comments:

seher's shenanigans said...

can they enjoy the company or mock it?
one is always pressing the other down. making faces at it. filling in the vibes that let the elation stop and halt within the few baby steps it takes.

they arent meant for company, they are mean to be at war. they seem to be taking to their piece of land but it is always hungry for more!

Azra said...

Shafs :) My 2 cents:

I think human beings under-estimate what they are capable of.

I had a discussion on this a few weeks ago. People always think they're exempt from behaving in certain ways eg. I've had someone tell me that she would never fall inlove with a married man.
My point is, she may NOT WANT to fall inlove with a married man, and all her intentions are there, but life is about much more than what we humans want and dont want.

We are always subjected to situations and experiences that we never thought we'd go through. We are goverened by our circumstances. True human nature is adaptable and not fixed, as we'd like to think. I can be kind and gentle to my little sister and yet be capable of murder if someone should attack me.

We become different people under different circumstances. There are many facets, its what makes us human :) and I think people make the mistake of thinking or believing that they are one dimensional creatures.

I do believe that we are greatly influenced by circumstances and our sitatuations. But I also believe that we choose how to react to those sitations and circumstances because to a large degree, we can control how we feel.

KimyaShafinaaz said...

seher, i just realised that your last two sentences rhyme... :)

i wonder if they can.. i think i allow them to co-exist (hence the contradiction) when in reality its joy that is to be the ultimate choice!

azra...thats amazing, lady! and of course, we always faced with the choices... determinism be a boon to us! chat about this later!

Saaleha said...

that did make me think. I just completed reading The Book Thief and it explored much of what you have brought up.

KimyaShafinaaz said...

hey Afrocentric Saaleha.. been a while since u visited :) yea.. i will look out for the book then! hope ur well..