Monday, January 28, 2008

Power games, headaches and my theories of reciprocation

Its been months since I had a decent headache; I used to harvest those with the fervour of a rare tulip gardener. Today, my harvest seems to have come in with a vengeance. I have much on my mind it seems. I remember when I was younger, and I felt pain in a limb, arm, leg or hand. I would imagine the affected area in a particular colour (eg red) and then proceed to imagine it flowing like a syrup out of the affected area all the while turning through the spectrum of colours in diminishing impact: orange, yellow, green, blue, shades of lighter blue and lavender.. softer, quieter and then gone!

And it worked. It became a game. A semi-conscious one at best. One that works wonders in traffic! And so began my delving into games of the psyche. I was forever mesmerized by notions of conscious and sub-conscious activity. 'The Power of the Subconscious Mind' was probably one of the most profound texts to allow my eyes and fingers a dance across its scenic pages. The mastery of June Singers 'Seeing through the visible world' in more recent years made similar impact. June Singer, a psychoanalyst, worked closely with Carl Jung and proceeded to write in light of Jungian philosophies and her own research observations. Singer describes what she refers to as her first experience with spirituality as a little girl, watching an ant climbing up the frame of a door and over the brass door knob; and she thought to herself that the ant climbs along various terrains without appointing meaning beyond survival and the like. But she could move beyond her chair, turn the door knob to open the door and move into a new room/realm. Similarly, she figures that human beings are like the ant in the bigger realm of consciousness and life; and beyond our limited reasoning and ability is the consciousness of a greater Power, God, who is able to Will far greater things than we are mostly capable of imagining!

Anyway, since this was meant to be an arb post, I will continue in light of games of mind and manner..
Power games. The games people play. Issues of security and insecurity; lack of communication when its most needed and fear of rejection. Key themes in a melting pot of relationship mud just waiting to be hurled at mostly unsuspecting patrons. Naive patrons? Perhaps so. Everyones been there some time or the other, well-bathed in both the mushy and the gory elements! And to learn what lesson? I heard a female friend say that she knows this really nice guy who likes her, but doesn't know how to GET RID OF HIM! Nice going lady. Just talk to the dude! They have been friends for some time. So he's not your average stalker type. Then theres this legal eagle guy I know who feels you shouldn't sent out text/SMS messages in a string.. rather one at a time until the other person responds. Ok and this means what? He says its a pride thing. To power freaks: I say its putting power in the hands of someone else;) And lets not lose sight of the fact that spontaneity is being sordidly murdered here! To hopefully most others: Games are fun if they're on state of the art gaming gear made by state of the art companies with good colour, graphics etc. This eight year old I know just got a new Wii. Moves up the ranks on coolstuff gadgets in my books, a close second place to the new GHD :P

Oh but regards endless discussions about the games people play and the pathos of rhetoric like: 'you hurt the one's you love the most'.. I could go on and on dipping into hours of research undertaken by scores of friends over copious amounts of chai, cuppacino, espresso even.. sometimes lots of lemon flavoured liqui coolers and often the gregarious tub of chocolate chip ice cream. Then theres the stuff of entertainment thats heard from the mouths of leathery horses! This reminds me of scribbled notes in the annex of my cobwebbed mind regards theories of reciprocation. All leads back through the maze to this thing about text/SMS messages and scoreboards keeping count of how many each side sent the other and (whose keeping count anyway?!) oh and home advantage! And hostile environments. And relationship choices as investments. Short-term and Long-term ones; Apparently. And so the spiral of relationship vocabulary dwindles further and further toward the abyss. Reason long lost in the impending darkness! Yet, methinks there might be a tiny flicker of love's light fighting for breathes.. And so here's hoping that the kiss of life will rekindle it! And that strategies for games of war turn to cultivation plans for gardens of divinely inspired love. Just what the world needs! Of course, We can hope. And pray :)


Waseem said...

Trying to get rid of the really nice guy ... i know that story. It is sad really, girls ask where the nice guy is gone but when the nice guys are there, the girl doesn't want them.

There shouldn't be such thing as the upper hand in a relationship, i think equality is one of the biggest thing in a good relationship, cos it cultivates respect and trust and ultimately love :).

Waseem said...

Trying to get rid of the nice guy ... I know that story. It's sad really, girls wanna know where all the nice guys have gone, but when they are there, girls don't want them.

I don't think there is such a thing as the upper hand in a good relationship. I think good relationships need equality cos that cultivates respect and trust and ultimately love :).

Apologies if this comment came twice, blogger gave me an error.

The Organ Harvester said...

everyone plays a game, a tactic to control or at least try to control our world. it's a natural attempt to protect ourselves. games are the white T cells we employ to attack invaders and bend them to fit into our realm. makes sense or move along. reciprocity is an aspiration in the evolutionary process for some. i can only imagine what such lofty ideals such as altruism promise.

yes everyone plays a game. even no game is a game. confidence determines our tactics and who decide to trust and gobble up.

Goolam_D said...

I think everyones very very scared of other people. I think everyones very scared of others because they know what they, personally, are capable of.

I think Freud was right and Jung smoked too much pot. We're all screwed up. And we behave that way because we are screwed up, and we have to try to be less screwed up. Because taking the high road implies that we actually know the way?

Anonymous said...

Games seem like games. Its all a perception. But its just people being themselves. Acting spontaneously and reacting to the other person. And reacting to their own insecurities.

Thoughtful post, Kim


diatribe said...

In relationships, girls want a guy who knows what his doing. So girls go for guys who can play and play well. Not play her. Just play the game well. As in, 'get the girl'!!! Whatever it takes. Lol. That proves his ability to be a good hunter and aids their future survival and the wellbeing of their offspring. Its all that simple. Goes back to basics - Back to the cavemen!

girl-in-green said...

Colour therapy for headaches! Thats awesome! I wish it worked for power in relationship pains too!


KimyaShafinaaz said...

@ waseem: double quote for added emphasis :) yea, too many examples of that. devoid of logic, hey! mature relationships are built on respect and trust. not endless quarrels and eventual resentment. and so ideally the end product or the journey towards love should be fulfilled with the right intentions and efforts.

@OH: maybe its time we stopped looking at it as War. The difference between love and war is endless.

@g-d : life is fiction. so we assume we kno. everyone assumes. nobodys wrong. we all live our litle bit of fiction.

@JT: ta. your comments provoke thought :)

@diatribe: aaah, the caveman defends his kind!

@ girl in green:
colour is all we have. its what makes up the otherwise blank canvas of life. play with it at will and be certain to create a masterpiece :P