"We are the leaders we've been waiting for" -WLC 2010

I attended a conference of diva hotseaters late last week. If there is any reason to re-awaken the potential we all know that we have lurking inside us, then the best way to go about it is to surround yourself with women who challenge themselves everyday, women who break with regulatory myths, women who trample unsavoury stereotypes; yes, women who change the world, one day at a time.

The Women's Leadership Conference convened at the Sunnyside Park Hotel in Johannesburg on 11-12 March 2010. As luck would have it, traffic into Johannesburg was reduced to a mere crawl thanks to a truck having exploded near the Atterbury exit into Pretoria and traffic was rerouted around nearby cities rather than over and through them. I was on my way into the mega-city having been out of town for the wedding festivities of a friend. It turned out to be a rather testy welcome into Gauteng, if you take into account that losing your cool is not the greatest show of survival of the fittest in a city that collides with the shortness of time and has to digest a population of feisty beings intent on making a corporate killing rather than just surviving on a daily basis. Those below the breadline are a mere mirage, an invisible fringe for the most part. A fantastical media report or two at the most. Such is the plight of the rainbow nation governed by the most TENDER-hearted of statesmen.

Time is money and tangents are costly. So where was I?
Aah. And so it came to pass that I was invited to join this gregarious bunch of divas in this neatly carved space for dialogue in Parktown.
I missed Debora Patta's talk but heard snippets for the length of the conference; she being of South Africa's more outspoken, daring media personalities and unsurprisingly Vodacom's Media Woman of the Year for 2009.
Kristine Pearson envisages a world of 'Women Lighting-up Africa'. She is CEO of the Freeplay Foundation based in the UK, US and SA. Noble cause indeed. And much to be made of the impressive vastness of her not-for-profit international organisation and its intent to more than create awareness of the devil of parafin usage in rural Africa and its insistence on gobbling up unsuspecting children in the impending darkness. She lobbys for clean and renewable energy, lighting and job creation for rural women in Africa.
Day 1's workshop was run by Philipa Namutebi Kabali-Kagwa: The Art of Telling Your Story. A powerful orator, Philipa held the audience in a trance of sorts as she went about her talented renderings and interactive sharings.
I sat on a panel that rounded up day one, along with Nicole Wills, founding partner and MD of award-winning advertising and communications agency Stick Communications SA; and Dr Sonia Joubert, academic and consultant in Creativity and Organisational Intelligence. A beautiful thread of conversation ranged from ways in which we might galvanise our own creativity on a regular basis to how to mentor and be mentored in an environment that encourages and unleashes creativity in others. I was happy to work to the theme of the THINK DIFFERENT ad, thanks to a friendly reminder from a brainstormy friend. Crazy works for me!
This theme pretty much carried forth throughout to the end of the two day-conference. It was more than imagination that confirmed the sparkle in people's eyes by the end of it all...

Day 2 began with an inspiring presentation on the mastery of organisational politics by Mardia Van Der Walt-Korsten, Businesswoman of the Year 2009 who is also the CEO of a German multi-national called T-Systems. Mardia cites her key to success simply as her love for life, and her intention to create an environment that puts soul into IT. Her value for humanity in her workplace is infectious as the direct interaction with a woman whose eyes sparkle when she speaks about her life and her work.

Tali Nates from the Johannesburg Holocaust Centre spoke about building bridges and learning tolerance. She spoke about the awareness of being: are we perpetrators, upstanders, bystanders or victims? Choice and repentance were strong themes in her talk.
There could not be a more fabulous way to end the conference than to welcome Prof Edna Van Harte, Dean of the Faculty of Military Science at the Military Academy in Saldanha at Stellenbosch University.
If it is about challenging stereotypes, and if its about a question of whether or not there is a place for women leaders in the military, then I think that she awakened that potential in more than one way.

The conference rounded up with the message of social movement; believe in something strongly and passionately enough, and get something going! Remember this? The MTN Clap :P

Enjoy. And stay with the magic. Its inside of you. Let it Live!

Good News and Bad News...

Good news is always welcome.

I believe that.

Especially since a lot of negative words get thrown about and rages flying from people you probably won't remember in two years time can cause unnecessary grief. And then there were those 'venom-spitting turds' who called themselves anon. Aaaarghhhh. I mean...who needs someone else's hot potato in their laps, right? Especially when things you say get twisted by ego's only ready for a jol.

What happens when their thirsts are quenched? Will they see the light, or will they continue to delude themselves for a lifetime? I guess everyone gets what they deserve, me included :) Alhamdulillah.

Ok.. First the bad news. I am in an excruciating amount of pain today. This all due to some painkillers wearing off and an hour of dental drilling into the recesses of my one measly tooth. It used to live quite peacefully at the back of my mouth until that dreaded day. A cavity. My dentist says its due to those braces I had when I was 13. Today's braces don't do that, she says. Right. Back then it was the coolest thing to sort out twisty teeth; accept for the fact that I couldn't chew gum or eat 'jawbreakers' (remember those hot spicey red ones??!!) or that I couldn't eat those lollypops with the gooey centre.

Back to the present; this all a load of drama to bring me to my proverbial knees. Actually, I am sitting on my knees as I type this! (I use one of these posture accurate typist chairs that has a rest for knees and butt. It's kinda funky. And it has wheels :P I love it. But Boi am I in pAiN!. Sigh.

So, to put away the bad news, I'm going to sleep. Writing is not happening today. Not like this, any way. Hmm... now for the good news...

I have just been appointed as a trustee (the youngest, I might add :P) on the corporate board of WIPHOLD. I know, its just a word. Or an acronym. I know. But it's a feather in my cap, whichever way. We are a total of five board trustees. The CEO of WIPHOLD, the CEO of WipCapital and the Chairperson (a Founder Member with great Merit in her field - legal and corporate). And then theres another two of us, newly appointed. This piece of news comes at a rather opportune time, seeing as I am at the threshold of many choices. It is a culmination of the many coats that I wear in the corporate and social sectors and I really hope to be able to make the most of it.

Read the Corporate Profile Mission Statement HERE.

The reasons that I have become hugely interested in this organisation is their immense social responsibility programmes in place. In some cases, companies like these are able to do more than the state. Read more about the extensive Social Development Commitment HERE.

I have a feeling that 2009 is going to be one heck of an exciting year!

Confessions of a Callgirl

I have just stumbled upon this weblog: Confessions of a College CallGirl; the writings are as real as it gets, extremely well-written and emotionally charged. The story of a callgirl in New York City...she uses her blog to get rid of the burdens that sit on her heart and the dust that settles on her soul from her experiences, but then she also has this no-nonsense take on life and survival... one tends to pick up on some amount of self-doubt in her ability to really hold on to a worthwhile relationship (this is beyond the scope of her 'job')..ie. once she's retired. Even so, she speaks of the number of times she has in fact, tried to retire... and the ways in which the tide pulls her back in again...

Factual accounts written here are fascinating in the humanity and necessary compassion evoked by this blogger. The link love leads to what I thought was the most distinguished of her new articles in terms of who she is as a woman. I also enjoyed the style of writing...

Provoked

What does it take for a woman of modest bearing, to wait till the quiet hours of the night until her husband of ten years is sound asleep, and to douse him in a carefully prepared mixture of cooking oil and other household flammable liquids, and then to drop a flaming candle at his feet, and watch in horror, and relief as the flames sieze and engulf his screaming frame!?

What does it take?

Insanity is a gleaming and rather self-righteous label designed by the self-acclaimed 'sane' and an appeasing banner to the designated who must wear it as a yoke. Why must some plead insanity to obtain justice? Or rather, as a human right's activist in the movie suggests, 'Why must women plead insanity to obtain justice, while men need only lose their tempers for the same?'

'Provoked' is the name of the movie that profiles a young Punjabi woman's plight to restore her dignity from within the confines of an abusive marriage, and in an act of being driven to temporary irrational insanity, she sets her husband on fire. He dies after some days in hospital. She is charged. This, she maintains, is her first taste of freedom.

Battered wife syndrome is, as a result of her case, a legally recognised condition.

Abuse is a messy subject, and many people will shy away from the indications to take the topic by the horns and do real battle with it. How do we break the cycle? We engage in abuse and are abused every other day when we choose to ascribe labels on each other, and when we carry those with which we might be branded. Where does it all stop? And how?

uSe or Abuse?

I wonder. I wonder at what point people might realise that they’re in an abusive relationship. I wonder at what point they can know that it is abuse. I also wonder how much people are willing to put up with. And why?

Unfinished Stories, Our Time.. and sourcing life along the journey

These were the last two that we saw of the Film Fest. My imagination has been bruised for a bit, by the implications pu on stage; Unfinished stories placed in Tehran, and Our Time in India.. that age old story of the exploitation of vulnerability. I disagree with the inability to carve a sense of spiritedness from it all, though. Somehow, theres always that. Samina thinks so. And so does Khalida. And perhaps, at some point, even Salma will see the light. Im not so sure about Zahida though... Theres some concern for sanity there.

Adams Eve and Wunderbra...

On Notions of Original Sin and Contested Gendered Power

August being Women’s month saw a resurgence of numerous extended gender debate and dialogue around South Africa. One example in particular was the conference in Cape Town held by the Confederation of South African Workers Unions (Consawu) and its some 27 affiliates. The conference culminated with a march to parliament where a petition of rights and proposals was presented. In addition, a booklet was released that identifies human dignity, equality, slavery, and child and forced labour as well as issues and rights affecting women in the workplace in general, and the constitutional rights of domestic workers in particular.

Just recently, I debated the notions of gender and equality using the contested example of Original Sin, with a self-acclaimed free thinking individual who suggested that perhaps it was Eves feminist urge that spurred her on to take a bite out of the apple. And that, by inference, Adam was then easily persuaded to giving in to the temptation. If women are to take negative credence as asserted by Eve partaking in the forbidden fruit, then this, it turns out is certainly no tribute to men either.

If, at the basis of patriarchy is the eternally perceived sin of Eve in engaging the forbidden fruit, and enticing Adam to partake in the same, one might ask a rather obvious question (and often we lose sight of the obvious), i.e. why was Adam silent in all of this? Must Adam be assumed a passive compliant without the basis for rationale and beyond the knowledge of right and wrong? And so the story goes. The universal femme fatale is given credence. By manmade inference, the silence of Adam is understood to have been divinely sanctioned. And the sacred texts are thus convoluted by patriarchal explication. History is writ as a conclusive script. And both men and women are cast in their respective roles, playing out convenient stereotypes well in advance, to keenly encourage their non-subversion from the status quo.

And what exactly does this all mean for contemporary gender debates. My first response to labels in general and that of feminist in particular is: there is a wariness with which we might assume that Eve was a feminist. From that stems the spirit of a dizzying array of questions. Can it be argued that women are inbred with a feminist urge? And more succinctly, what is it to be a politically correct feminist? Labels have long been employed as the dividing tool; political strategy and political aptness a see-saw debate. In asking whether or not Eve was feminist, it might be imperative to ask whether or not she would fit into the image of the much debated fifties bra-burning activist or the contemporary Wunderbra revolutionary. My point is that, are we indeed moving onward to a more holistic and embraced notion of the female role in society. Contemporary women identify more responsively to an engaged femininity. So then we are accosted with a number of further interrogations: Should Adam have stood up for Eve? Was Adam meant to at least make a stand for himself so as to not engage in sin? Did Eve indeed take a bite to assert feminism? And, finally dare we assume at all that Eve was a feminist?

The measure upon which to decide is whether or not the Adam/Eve biblical metaphor serves as an adequate gender framework for contemporary relationship dynamics and if it does indeed transfer along historical and archetypal memory as a continued script. Human growth must proceed towards a fully realized potential, and this cannot be achieved without an equal platform of psychological and social encouragement for individuals of both genders. A mutually beneficial framework needs to be asserted within the social network in general and the relationship sphere in particular in order to maintain this encouragement, and this requires a relearning of many prior and deeply entrenched socialization features that inherently feed both mouths of the twin-headed monster of male domination and female subordination.

Lets face it, a self-respecting Adam, should have stood up for himself. And not quite so simply succumbed to temptation. And if he did, then universal heirs of the victim persona should not be passing blame. Indeed, what a waste this would be if Eve did, in fact, take a small bite for womankind. The challenges facing women in the socio-economic sphere are yet to be ironed out, and gendered spaces made a uniform place of opportunity for one and all. In order to ensure this, we must begin by questioning our pretexts, our understanding of male and female roles in society, and by unearthing our deepest set prejudices.