Insane in Time

It's been an insane year. So much so that it's evident in me not having blogged here for almost two months. That's seven weeks or so. My reference to insanity is not said as a bad thing, although I do miss my blog.
But the insanity is also a fabulous time to reflect on the passage of the ten months that 2010 has been, and the very fleeting two remaining months that will be.
Even though its been a very quickly melting year, I've often in the past not been able to account for these quick spurts of time. This year is most different, and I have much to be thankful for.
And so when I have those moments when I come up for air, I know and remember to be grateful to the Source of all my creativity, starting from the breath that sustains me on a daily basis.

And to 2010. Thank you for being the rollercoaster of delights that you have been. Thank you for the promises that you have laid before me that will continue this gregarious festive energy well into the new year. Thank you for the highs, the open doors, the lifted ceilings, the fresh air, the wonderful people that I am able to work and play with and the very thing that makes life worth every bit: Love.

What point would the M4K blog have if it wasnt to appreciate the advent of the blook in its name, Memoirs For Kimya, right?
M4K will be distributed as a gift book by some women's empowerment initiatives and corporates in the coming weeks. And I will be off to Germany with Daughters are Diamonds and my research on violence and gender during the first two weeks of December to present at a conference at Humboldt University. And then, its the new year. The New Year.

God is Great.

2010

There are many ways to anticipate the advent of good things. It takes more than belief. It takes a certain amount of knowing, at that extended level. Beyond the place of reason and reasonable doubt, even.

2009 need be celebrated for the many gifts it placed at my feet.
2010 will be celebrated for its own reasons. But more so, is that alongside this wonder of the mystery, this anticipation of what is to come, is the firm knowledge that I am blessed with an entourage of angels, my loved ones, my friends, my cluster of souls that alight in the same space within which my life is made manifest.

The inspired choices are endless. The life ahead is pregnant with the promise of more delights, impending potential to be realised, dreams to be met along the way, and doors of greatness waiting to be opened.

One thing is certain, as we begin this new year: We will have our spotlight in the sun. And this is the year for it!

Happy New Year 2010 :)

belief, trust and process

I am in need of one of those magic potions that will keep me astride the latest developments, and all pepped up with the vitamins of good and glorious. Okay, what I mean to say is that what with all the hype of my new writing project, I am in constant need to replenish the energies of enthusiasm and to find myself the inspiration I need to dive into it.

*Deep Breath*

The new project is about to begin. I got a call to set the ball rolling late last week. And so, I am about to take that nose-dive into the refreshing waters of an exciting research project that has already got me meeting some fascinating types. My world is about to merge with an underworld of veterans and newbies; spies of old, turned fruitsellers and ex-pats nostalgic for the dust of days gone by.

Of course, colliding with that novel that I have been pretending to write, means that the overlaps will prove to be an interesting challenge for me. And there's no rush to get anywhere, anytime as per diary and stop-watch. No guilt about words that won't happen. No anxiety about the project being compromised. I am just being one with the words and being pulled along by the current from which they flow.

I believe in process; I trust the ability for things set in motion to make their way along a vine of growth and contention and more growth.

So they will happen together; my rainbow of things, side by side. And together, they will merge on this canvas of newness.

PS: This post represents the inauguration of the new baby. I will do a separate post on it in a few days when I can get back to the blogs. Cheerio till then. S.

dust off your hands... it will be done

2009

hello

what will you have?

a cup of tea? with lemon and ice?

or a bag of flour to bake your own cupcake, perhaps?

i have nothing to serve, you see...

you're an unlikely newness

raking the same glory from the days gone by

a bit too quickly for my liking, i say

and a bit too slow

if it counts that

there's a war crime or two

happening in some part up north

i don't know exactly where

just that

its not okay

because those babies i heard in my dream

weren't actually in combat

the lollypop that got splattered with blood

was just fresh out the wrapper

gosh

the baby was fresh out the wrapper!

but they said they were bombing

an area of armed combatants

(with lollypops - red ones!)


so what will it be?

a glass of ice water?

a dash of tequila?

on the rocks... and the rubble

underneath which

lies a mother and her two children

the third one is just

a

splattered

mush of flesh.

doesn't count.


it's just a matter of

ashes to ashes,

dust

and clay

to dust.

white phosphorous will make sure of it!

dust off your hands. it will be done.


happy new year.

we can wait for FIFA's act,

but the games have already begun.

The End...

Some of the most imaginative stories are begun with the words "Once Upon a Time".

Even Coelho's 'Eleven Minutes' does this. But then, the idea of beginning at the begin, is a nominal and conventional route as far as story-telling goes.

I like the idea of beginning at the end. It has that something in it that suggests we (at least a part) are permanently frozen in our every moment; that everyone moment of NOW has a nostalgic before and an inevitable after.

I have written a goodbye post to every year since I began blogging in 2005. Each time I said goodbye to a year of things and happenings; sometimes gladly, mostly reluctant... but then I never bid farewell to the memories or feelings or lessons. And mostly, I never ever said goodbye to the experiences that indulged my craving for wholeness. These were my highlights; my essential milestones... They were the products of my often limited supply of enthusiasm. And this limitation had to be pointed out to me; for a long time I deluded myself into believing that enthusiasm existed in endless supply. Then I heard not. It was like discovering that Santa doesn't exist. Or worse still, the Tooth Fairy! Imagine that?!

They happen every single year, of course. These milestones of discovery. And they're not always easy to acknowledge or recognise. Oh, but they sure do take place. Angels in disguise tend to present them in the most creative ways. Those same angels in disguise both force and entice the inner demons out on a scant spring-cleaning effort. And they tease the inner angels too, encouraging a romance of sorts between them for a time.

It's the End again. Candles have melted, and taps have run dry. There's no more squeezing that toothpaste tube. 2008 is done; save for a few pernicious scraps of dark poetry scribbled across the draft of that thing called a novel, and other's published here and there and elsewhere, it was another eventful and evolutionary year. That I can say, without so much as a drop of doubt.

A year ago, I yearned for newness. I got it in torrents. The storm replenished me, insatiated me... and then washed me ashore to yet another beach of newness. This ebb and flow is what life is all about. At least that what it is to me... part of that tidal wave of evolutionary relationships, personal growth and discovery... and a longer list of reasons to feel an overwhelming gratitude for riding the crest of the wave every so often, after a time of drowning in the confusion of the greater depths of salty water.

The ebb and flow... the circularity of reason... the evolution of life and being...
And the thrilling realisation that ends are really beginnings...

Here's wishing everyone a gregarious and enthusiastic new year 2009!


With love and appreciation

Shafinaaz

Good News and Bad News...

Good news is always welcome.

I believe that.

Especially since a lot of negative words get thrown about and rages flying from people you probably won't remember in two years time can cause unnecessary grief. And then there were those 'venom-spitting turds' who called themselves anon. Aaaarghhhh. I mean...who needs someone else's hot potato in their laps, right? Especially when things you say get twisted by ego's only ready for a jol.

What happens when their thirsts are quenched? Will they see the light, or will they continue to delude themselves for a lifetime? I guess everyone gets what they deserve, me included :) Alhamdulillah.

Ok.. First the bad news. I am in an excruciating amount of pain today. This all due to some painkillers wearing off and an hour of dental drilling into the recesses of my one measly tooth. It used to live quite peacefully at the back of my mouth until that dreaded day. A cavity. My dentist says its due to those braces I had when I was 13. Today's braces don't do that, she says. Right. Back then it was the coolest thing to sort out twisty teeth; accept for the fact that I couldn't chew gum or eat 'jawbreakers' (remember those hot spicey red ones??!!) or that I couldn't eat those lollypops with the gooey centre.

Back to the present; this all a load of drama to bring me to my proverbial knees. Actually, I am sitting on my knees as I type this! (I use one of these posture accurate typist chairs that has a rest for knees and butt. It's kinda funky. And it has wheels :P I love it. But Boi am I in pAiN!. Sigh.

So, to put away the bad news, I'm going to sleep. Writing is not happening today. Not like this, any way. Hmm... now for the good news...

I have just been appointed as a trustee (the youngest, I might add :P) on the corporate board of WIPHOLD. I know, its just a word. Or an acronym. I know. But it's a feather in my cap, whichever way. We are a total of five board trustees. The CEO of WIPHOLD, the CEO of WipCapital and the Chairperson (a Founder Member with great Merit in her field - legal and corporate). And then theres another two of us, newly appointed. This piece of news comes at a rather opportune time, seeing as I am at the threshold of many choices. It is a culmination of the many coats that I wear in the corporate and social sectors and I really hope to be able to make the most of it.

Read the Corporate Profile Mission Statement HERE.

The reasons that I have become hugely interested in this organisation is their immense social responsibility programmes in place. In some cases, companies like these are able to do more than the state. Read more about the extensive Social Development Commitment HERE.

I have a feeling that 2009 is going to be one heck of an exciting year!

The East Coast & Newness

Its new years eve. 2007 is done for, and standing on the precipice of a whole new year ahead, I am tending to prod my toes about rather precariously forward, somewhat fretful about the immediate few weeks of the beginning of the year and mostly anxious about the creative promise that the rest of the year holds.

I have this seed of a wonderful feeling sitting inside of me. Somewhere deep down, waiting to burst forth in time, this little sign of creative life lurks. I have this strange but beautiful feeling about 2008. Not so easy to put into words, but evident to me in the whisper of heartbeats signaling the celebration of life throughout the inner universe.

Its just after 9pm. I am at home, and have not yet decided where I will be when the clock strikes midnight. I got into Johannesburg at about 5pm this evening after having spent about a week on the East Coast in Durban. A week of fabulous fun, sunshine, blue ocean, positive energy from the magic of hugs and quality time with friends and family.. the wedding of a wonderful couple (Naz and Max).. more wonderful people met here and there.. the Al-Ansaar Souk where we launched the book, spoke at some seminars during the week there and held a booksigning or two. And, finally, confirmed a one-semester lectureship with the folk at UKZN to present as case study for sociology students, the themes and theories of Daughters are Diamonds. Which means, effectively, that I have exaclty one month to get my stuff together, round up work things and tie up some loose ends before I get back to Durban, where I will reside for the next five to six months. Well, I asked for change of scenery, and it seems like the universe responded in this way. The rest remains to be played out and seen through :)

Its going to be an interesting 2008. I can almost taste it!

Heres to Newness, Greatness, Madness and Sweetness! Mwah!